Have you ever had one of those days?
I woke up, popped right out of bed like usually and even got to chat with my father before running at a Bikram Yoga class. I pushed myself, and my body, to my stretchy yogi limits for 90 minutes. After a few meetings, I went to lunch with my Bestie, and got to hang out with him for a while. Sadly I’ve had a slight headache all day. I’m pushing through the only way I know how. I hide behind my smile. Today is not my best day.
I can think of a few things that have been festering.
I have some serious students loans that I’m trying to tackle, but it seems as if they will never go away. I feel like I’m being placed in a hole and dirt is constantly being piled upon my head. DEBT SUCKS. It makes me feel low and irresponsible. I’ve been growing a business, but they don’t care about that. All they want is the money, which I can understand, but I don’t have the money to give them. I’ve been stressed out about student loans ever since I sighted on that dotted line.
Another thing thats been buzzing in my ear is my weight. I’ve gotten myself down to a respectable weight. My body is banging right now, I can finally see all my hard work paying off. My diet is pretty clean, I practice heated yoga 3 days a week, while getting adequte carido interval sessions 2-3 days a week. I’m contantanly thinking about what I can do better, or what workout I need to complete next. I’m not burned out, but I’m tried of stressing out over my body, and what goes into my mouth. As much as I want to step back and surrender control I think about this girl.
No one knew her, but she’s still alive inside of me. She still begges for those french fries. I’m not sure if my worries will ever go away. What if? What if I wake up 300 pounds again, what if this was all a dream. I know this sounds silly, but when I look in the mirror I always expect that girl to be staring back at me.
Tonight I’m having dinner with my boyfriends family. I’m sure we will eat some tasty food, tell some jokes and have a merry time. Exactly what I need today.
Have a wonderful weekend!